This shit is so racist/good.
Stuff Jews Hate: Crohn’s
My Halloween costume, sometime before the Coneheads movie but after my Teen Wolf phase. (No, the eyebrows aren’t real.)
This is what happens when you Google-Image “Jewish pervert.”
On the corner of Bridge St and Front St in Dumbo, Brooklyn.
In the suburbs of Highland Park, Illinois, just a half-hour north of the Windy City, the property at 370 Beech Street—better known as the house where Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off lived—went on the market for $2.3 million last summer after its owner, designer Ben Rose, passed away. “We have had a lot of interest in the house,” realtor Meladee Hughes told me in May 2009. “The pavilion on the ravine holds up to six European sports cars, which is why John Hughes picked this property … There can never be another one like it because Highland Park won’t permit it.”
Still unsold, its listing has now dropped to $1.8 million, which has nothing to do with the epic damages from when Cameron sent his dad’s precious auto to Ferrari heaven. “The windows have been repaired of course,” Hughes says, “That’s all been taken care of.”
I gotta say it was a total asskissing honor to have James Toback dictate to me his picks for “the best Jewish murder scenes on film,” whatever the hell that means. The Bugsy screenwriter, Jim Brown biographer, and Fingers director was rattling off all kinds of gangster shit to me (backstory info on Ben Siegel and Hyman Roth) around midnight in 2008, as he was on a plane waiting for takeoff to Cannes for the premiere of his asskissingly-awesome Tyson documentary.
Ten Reasons Why The Godfather, Part III Can Go Fuck Itself (after viewing only the first hour):
10. We learn absolutely nothing new about the enigmatic and historically rich Corleone family other than Sonny has a hot-headed bastard child, which is not a surprise.
9. The whole thing feels so forced, like one of those sitcom reunions. Not a very proud paycheck to cash.
8. George Hamilton
7. New York mob bosses want a piece of Michael’s legitimate business transaction because Puzo and Coppola couldn’t come up with a better contrivance in order to get Michael back into underworld dealings.
6. The death foreshadowing is even artificially packaged: Instead of peeling himself an orange, a housekeeper pours Minute Maid for Michael at the breakfast table.
5. Puzo and Coppola recycled way too much dialogue, i.e. mob bosses wanting to “wet their beaks” and Michael lecturing the bastard to “never tell blah blah what you’re thinking outside the family,” bullshit.
4. Michael is dressed ridiculous.
3. Kay Adams is dressed even worse.
2. Sofia Coppola
1. Michael spends half his screen time weeping over the death of Fredo, yet you never see him blink once over the loss of Apolonia. This is not the jaded, exacting, committed Godfather we knew and loved.
She took 3.5 hours to have her hair and make-up done for what was essentially a 35-minute photo/video shoot, but, grouchy diva shit aside, Lisa Lampanelli is still one funny cocksucker.
Initially, Artemis from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia wanted to drop acid and take a helicopter ride over Manhattan for our interview last summer.
Instead we just got hammered on pot, tequila and funnel cakes at Coney Island.
