www.dreidelhustler.com

I gotta say it was a total asskissing honor to have James Toback dictate to me his picks for “the best Jewish murder scenes on film,” whatever the hell that means. The Bugsy screenwriter, Jim Brown biographer, and Fingers director was rattling off all kinds of gangster shit to me (backstory info on Ben Siegel and Hyman Roth) around midnight in 2008, as he was on a plane waiting for takeoff to Cannes for the premiere of his asskissingly-awesome Tyson documentary.

Ten Reasons Why The Godfather, Part III Can Go Fuck Itself (after viewing only the first hour):

10. We learn absolutely nothing new about the enigmatic and historically rich Corleone family other than Sonny has a hot-headed bastard child, which is not a surprise.

9. The whole thing feels so forced, like one of those sitcom reunions. Not a very proud paycheck to cash.

8. George Hamilton

7. New York mob bosses want a piece of Michael’s legitimate business transaction because Puzo and Coppola couldn’t come up with a better contrivance in order to get Michael back into underworld dealings.

6. The death foreshadowing is even artificially packaged: Instead of peeling himself an orange, a housekeeper pours Minute Maid for Michael at the breakfast table.

5. Puzo and Coppola recycled way too much dialogue, i.e. mob bosses wanting to “wet their beaks” and Michael lecturing the bastard to “never tell blah blah what you’re thinking outside the family,” bullshit.

4. Michael is dressed ridiculous.

3. Kay Adams is dressed even worse.

2. Sofia Coppola

1. Michael spends half his screen time weeping over the death of Fredo, yet you never see him blink once over the loss of Apolonia. This is not the jaded, exacting, committed Godfather we knew and loved.

via this guy.

She took 3.5 hours to have her hair and make-up done for what was essentially a 35-minute photo/video shoot, but, grouchy diva shit aside, Lisa Lampanelli is still one funny cocksucker.

Initially, Artemis from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia wanted to drop acid and take a helicopter ride over Manhattan for our interview last summer.

Instead we just got hammered on pot, tequila and funnel cakes at Coney Island.

F Jackie.

You know this kid right? Pierce Ruane, a.k.a. “Sex Man,” reviews everything fan boy yet has no idea who Boba Fett is.

Still amazes me to this day.

So there’s this guy in Jersey named Steve Vincent who draws some pretty deranged comics, one of which is about a teddy bear created by the government who ass-fucks people to death.

Naturally I had to spend some time with him.

Remember actress Jenette Goldstein? Ok, scratch that.

Remember Vasquez from Aliens? Nowadays, in between gigs from King Cameron, Goldstein (above, the shortest one) runs a bra shop in L.A. that caters to heavy-duty titties. She also likes to brag about wearing a G-cup.

The man was good enough to write curse words to me back before I knew what half of them meant.