You know this kid right? Pierce Ruane, a.k.a. “Sex Man,” reviews everything fan boy yet has no idea who Boba Fett is.
Still amazes me to this day.
So there’s this guy in Jersey named Steve Vincent who draws some pretty deranged comics, one of which is about a teddy bear created by the government who ass-fucks people to death.
Remember actress Jenette Goldstein? Ok, scratch that.
Remember Vasquez from Aliens? Nowadays, in between gigs from King Cameron, Goldstein (above, the shortest one) runs a bra shop in L.A. that caters to heavy-duty titties. She also likes to brag about wearing a G-cup.
The man was good enough to write curse words to me back before I knew what half of them meant.
Interviewing porn stars is the same thing as talking to strippers or your baby cousin, not intimidating. But Mad Men’s Maggie Siff? I still pat myself on the back for not blurting out anything too raunch.
Ernest Borgnine likes to masturbate a lot.
When he’s not Twittering about the Cubs or playing online poker or hitting on girls who recognize him from Freaks and Geeks, the beloved actor Samm Levine occasionally writes book reviews that I get to edit.
Really kind of a bizarre thing for me to be so obsessed with The Poseidon Adventure as a kid that I wrote to its surviving cast members. But not bad ass Gene Hackman. Ernie Borgnine, Shelley Winters, and, why of all people, Red Buttons.
He wrote back the sweetest note. Strangest damn WTF for a kid to get in the mail.
Scotty Schwartz is as much a pistol now as he was when he played that snotty little brat opposite Richard Pryor in The Toy. He runs his father’s sporting goods shop outside of L.A. and keeps up with oldtimers from showbiz and the MLB.
He used to visit Dom DeLuise at his deathbed to talk old times. He’s also got a good story about losing his erection during his stint in porn.
Back in my pubic days, I called Leonard Maltin to ask the film historian about his favorite movies of all time. Then I called 21 other critics in the U.S. with the same questions and populated a listing of all these important titles I’d never heard of.
Troll 2 didn’t make The List, btw.
A few months back Luther Campbell spoke to me on speakerphone in a very echoey apartment, and, seriously, transcribing the former 2 Live Crew front man’s interview was painful. It was like spending the day listening to some schucker who just got off work from the car wash.
Modern Hooker is more into sex worker activism now than anything but surely, for the right amount of money, will turn a trick or three with a smile. She speaks the truth, though some stuff about dirty cops I didn’t publish. Can’t remember why. Either I couldn’t or didn’t.
In all the time I spent talking to her about her work — Star Trek, Curb Your Enthusiasm, one-woman-off-Broadway productions — never would I have suspected the role for which she receives the most fan mail. Her androgynous sidekick in Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector still gets her handwritten notes from hinterland folk across The States. Surprising, right?
She said there’s, like, a bloopery nude scene on the DVD extras, so …
No matter what negative shit the industry cattle has to say about Roseanne Barr, I have to say that, of all the emails and phone calls I’ve received from the boob tube legend, I never once sensed a mean bone in her body. Except toward vegans.
Believe it or not, Joanna Angel is sexually unsatisfied. “I wish I had more time to get laid. It’s not fair … I mean, when I’m in scenes, I’m just having sex on camera. I don’t really know how to have sex any other way if that makes any sense.”
The punk rock princess also shared a couple other porn bits with me here.
